What a long time!

Location: HCM
Weather: Sunny, partially cloudy
Mood: Happy but too free
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Finally I can log into my blog. Its been so long that I thought they had terminated my account :P

I chatted with a longtime friend today, saw her online and msg her. We had a short chat, but it left me with deep thoughts.

I have always been an advocate of working women. I support and firmly believe that all women should work, for their own independence, freedom and financial capability. Now now now... I am not a sexist, nor am I a 'big woman'. I just feel that women should have their own careers too. I know many people (including my own relatives) will rebuke me for this statement, but wth, this is my stand.

One day, when I have my own family, I will take care my children, be a hands-on Mum. But at the same time, I will continue to develop my career, because financial independence is equally important. In this ever-changing and constantly evoluting world, who can guarantee me stability and certainty? Who will tell me that he will earn and provide for me forever? Who will not leave me and be by side through all good and bad?

At the end of the day, only us can provide the best guarantee to ourselves.

Emotional vacuum

My second post for today. Had an unhappy 'conversation' with Dee, just exchanged smses but I feel very sad.

Sometimes I just wanna go away, do what I want and what I like.
Sometimes I just wanna be myself.
Sometimes I just wanna live for myself and no one else.
Sometimes I just wanna tell everyone to go away.
Sometimes I just wanna shut myself up, have no emotions and feelings for anyone.
Sometimes I just wanna be alone.

I wanna go away for a few days, just for myself. I want to be alone with my music and books only. No phone, no email, no internet, no computer, no communication. Not even with Anh.

Yes, I will do just that.

Happy Sunday

Weather (HCM): Sunny with light breeze
Mood: Sunny with some clouds
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Back from a week of travelling. I have jetted from HCM > Danang > Hanoi from Monday till Thursday. From hot & sunny > cool and drizzling > cold and rainy. What a week!

Happy Sunday :) Had a good day with Anh, went Lotte Mart for lunch, walk around, arcade, supermarketing, coffee and chit chat. It's awesome and fun to be able to do all these, it feels very domestic, couply and peaceful.

Wish that my Geri will recover soon! Wish that my Furry will cheer up soon! Wish that Anh will be more energetic and less sian soon!

And I Love You So

Weather: Sunny with clouds, breezy, cool
Mood: Light, happy, loved
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And I Love You So - By Emi Fujita

And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived 'til now
I tell them
I don't know

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
Life began again
The day you took my hand

And yes I know, how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And you love me too
Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free
I'm happy that you do

The book of life is brief
And once a page is read
All but life is dead
That is my belief

And yes I know, how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me
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As I was adding songs to my new HD2 yesterday, I came across this song by Emi Fujita. Its a beautiful song with simple but touching lyrics. It also reflects my current mood.

And I love you so, Mr K. You are a wonder-dino, because you made me laugh and happy till I am floating in the air; and yet sometimes you can also make me cry and pain so much. But I still love you so. This is love, isn't it?

God, I hope this good mood of mine will not end so soon. Let it last longer, and better if forever :)

Back to where I am

Weather: Sunny in morning, cloudly in afternoon - HCM
Mood: Happy, a bit hyper
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Back to HCM. Goodbye Singapore (for now).

Had a wonderful and happy trip home :) Thanks Daddy, thanks Mommy, thanks Geri, thanks Furry, thanks Sis, thanks Nai, thanks to my whole extended family :) I wish every trip can be as happy and relaxing as this. Time passed fast and easily this trip. Yeah :)

Made a good start in HCM. At least, today is a good day at work and life. I learnt to count my blessings, every single little thing is a blessing from God. Some things can be ignored, some people can be forgotten, because they are just insignificant when compared to other things in life.

I love you: Happiness and Laughter. Please be with me longer.

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010

Weather: Hot and humid in Singapore
Mood: Happy
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It's been a good start to the new year.

Had lotsa fun and parties, lots and lots of family time with Nai, Daddy, Mummy, Goddad and Godmom, Uncle Mitchell and Aunt Pauline and my dearest cousins (Edwin, Geri, Jon). I love my medium-sized extended family. 11 of us > a big close-knitted family. Kinship is the best.

Had a relatively easier and happier time with A too. Its nice: to be able to chit chat before sleep every night, whispering until both of us fell asleep. No stress about the time. No stress about when to go home. No stress about where we are. No stress about not being able to call. Except for 1 thing. Well, life is never perfect. We have to accept imperfections. Geri, I remember what you said (meaning), life is a cocktail of happiness and sadness. The happy thing in life is not to have no sadness, but to accept that sadness is part of life. I am trying though somtimes I suck at it :P

Goodbye sadness, Hello happiness.
Goodbye tears, Hello laughter.
Goodbye quarrels, Hello kisses.

For my Ger

Weather: Cloudy with some sunshine in HCM.
Mood: Neutral. Not much feelings. But at least, I am not sad (for now).
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Start to blog again. At least if I can sign in, I will blog. Ger, are you reading this? I know you are my No.1 fan :) For you, I will continue to write.

Today feels like a normal day (for now). Back to work, back to proposal making (I make proposals faster than making babies :P). Anh is back to work too, I am so glad and happy to know this. Thanks Anh!

It seems that life is kinda back to normal (for now). The pain has subsided (for now). The tears are gone (for now). I am able to laugh a bit (for now).

Thanks Ger, thanks for being here and there for me always. For picking up ur phone and hearing me wailing into your ears like nobody's business, for 10 mins straight. For skyping with me till 2am, even though your eyes are closing. For sharing with me and in the process of doing so, touching your own wounds again.

Thanks Liwen.

Thanks Furry.

Thank God.

To love someone

To love someone, it means letting him go.
To love someone, it means respecting his decision.
To love someone, it means wanting him to be happy.
To love someone, it means being selfless.

Anh ah, you must remember what we discussed tonight.

Anh ah, you must have more courage, have more backbone.

Anh ah, you must differentiate between true family/frens and superficial family/frens.

Anh ah, you will never know how much I love you. Until you can be selfless.
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Geri, I feel better after chatting with you. You have been my support and shoulder for the past 4 days (and of course, Edwin & Sis).
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I have never experienced such an intense love. It makes me laugh, makes me happy. But it also makes me cry, makes me pain.
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I must have faith. I must believe. I must take this risk for 1 final time.

FINALLY

I finally can log into my blog :)

Watch this space for updates ... <3