Monday, December 31, 2007
一部分的完整 -- 张小娴
爱一个人的时候，你总是希望把自己完整地交给他。 毫无保留地爱他。 毫无保留地付出。 他是你唯一的。 如果你的生命里缺少了他，就是不完整的生命。 只是，世上没有一段爱情是完整的。 你从别人手上把他抢回来，你们终于可以厮守终生了，你以为你们经历了最惊天动地的爱情，没有人可以把你们分开。多年之后，他爱上了另一个女人。你仍然深深地爱着他，他也曾经深深地爱过你。心甘情愿为你抛弃一切，但你们之间还是出现第三者，你们的爱情不再完整。 你问他：“我们是不是不再完整？” 他垂头无语，他和另一个女人又何尝完整？他永远不会和她结合。 二十一世纪了，我们对爱情的完整也许应该有一个新的见解——不要祈求永远完整，只要有一部分完整就好了。 在互相鼓励的那一部分，你们是完整的。 在共同奋斗的那一部分，你们是完整的。 在毫无保留地付出的时候，你们是完整的。 有一部分完整，足以抵销一部分的遗憾。
不要再问天长地久还是曾经拥有 -- 张小娴
另一篇：
有人问：“你喜欢天长地久，还是曾经拥有？” 问这一类问题，已经太落伍，实在没心机回答，爱情怎能这样分界？ 也许，每一个人在另一个人的生命里，都有一种作用。作用完了，功德圆满，也就分手。他只是她生命里的一个过客、一块跳板，却影响了她一辈子，这算是曾经拥有，还是天长地久？ 她在他最失意的时候出现，他本来已经放弃一切，因为遇上她，他变得积极进取。不再自怜。他从幽谷里走出来，变成一个光芒四射的人。然后，因为许多原因，她要离开了，她知道，她在他生命里的作用已经完了，即使她走了，他也不会倒下来。所谓缘尽，也就是她在他生命里扮演的角色是时候消失了。 她本来是一个很简单的女人，以为爱情就是人生的全部，整天憧憬着跟自己心爱的男人结婚、生孩子，过着幸福的生活，直到遇上他，她才知道自己可以不平凡。爱情原来不是人生的全部，她不再憧憬结婚和生孩子，她对幸福的生活有了新的见解。一天，他要离开她了，虽然伤感，但是他留给她的养份，将会滋润她一辈子。 不要再问天长地久还是曾经拥有？凡是美好的东西总是以不同形式地久天长，功德圆满。当天分手的时候，你很伤心，今天回首，你才醒觉，他离开，因为他的作用已经完了。人生何处无离别？最重要是你们各自在对方的生命里起过一些什么作用。
有人问：“你喜欢天长地久，还是曾经拥有？” 问这一类问题，已经太落伍，实在没心机回答，爱情怎能这样分界？ 也许，每一个人在另一个人的生命里，都有一种作用。作用完了，功德圆满，也就分手。他只是她生命里的一个过客、一块跳板，却影响了她一辈子，这算是曾经拥有，还是天长地久？ 她在他最失意的时候出现，他本来已经放弃一切，因为遇上她，他变得积极进取。不再自怜。他从幽谷里走出来，变成一个光芒四射的人。然后，因为许多原因，她要离开了，她知道，她在他生命里的作用已经完了，即使她走了，他也不会倒下来。所谓缘尽，也就是她在他生命里扮演的角色是时候消失了。 她本来是一个很简单的女人，以为爱情就是人生的全部，整天憧憬着跟自己心爱的男人结婚、生孩子，过着幸福的生活，直到遇上他，她才知道自己可以不平凡。爱情原来不是人生的全部，她不再憧憬结婚和生孩子，她对幸福的生活有了新的见解。一天，他要离开她了，虽然伤感，但是他留给她的养份，将会滋润她一辈子。 不要再问天长地久还是曾经拥有？凡是美好的东西总是以不同形式地久天长，功德圆满。当天分手的时候，你很伤心，今天回首，你才醒觉，他离开，因为他的作用已经完了。人生何处无离别？最重要是你们各自在对方的生命里起过一些什么作用。
总胜过从未碰头 -- 张小娴
最近我很喜欢张小娴的散文，读起来就觉得感觉很强，很深。这是其中一篇散文：
二十五岁的M与男朋友相恋八年，他们一起经历了许多快乐和不快乐的日子。那年，
他考不上大学，她一直在旁边支持他。第二年，他终于考上大学了，他们的感情更加巩
固。大学毕业之后，他们各自在两个不同的行业工作，问题就来了。
每次见面，他都跟她谈工作的事，仿佛工作就是一切。他不再跟她说亲昵话。不再
吻她和拥抱她。他们从来没有性关系，他希望她在婚前是完美的。他是这么好的一个男
人，可是，现在他坦白的告诉她，他对她的感觉已经变得很弱，他不想再拖着她。他不
想为了责任而跟她结婚。他要找的人不是她。她哭了起来，他也哭了。大家都舍不得分
开。她仍然爱他，希望他回头。只是，他已经没有那种感觉。
她的房间里全是这八年来他送给她的东西。他仍然关心她，但他不再爱她。她问，
怎样可以令他对她再有爱的感觉？
你和我都知道，爱的感觉一旦消失了，几乎是无法挽回的。相爱也是一种电波，这
两种电波的信号曾经是很强的，今天，电波变弱了，对方拒绝接收，你的发射网再强也
是徒然的。
两个曾经相爱的人，成长的路不同，那么，唯一的结局就是各自走自己的路。每个
人的路都不同，有幸和遇，无缘则分手。曾经相遇，总胜过从未碰头。
二十五岁的M与男朋友相恋八年，他们一起经历了许多快乐和不快乐的日子。那年，
他考不上大学，她一直在旁边支持他。第二年，他终于考上大学了，他们的感情更加巩
固。大学毕业之后，他们各自在两个不同的行业工作，问题就来了。
每次见面，他都跟她谈工作的事，仿佛工作就是一切。他不再跟她说亲昵话。不再
吻她和拥抱她。他们从来没有性关系，他希望她在婚前是完美的。他是这么好的一个男
人，可是，现在他坦白的告诉她，他对她的感觉已经变得很弱，他不想再拖着她。他不
想为了责任而跟她结婚。他要找的人不是她。她哭了起来，他也哭了。大家都舍不得分
开。她仍然爱他，希望他回头。只是，他已经没有那种感觉。
她的房间里全是这八年来他送给她的东西。他仍然关心她，但他不再爱她。她问，
怎样可以令他对她再有爱的感觉？
你和我都知道，爱的感觉一旦消失了，几乎是无法挽回的。相爱也是一种电波，这
两种电波的信号曾经是很强的，今天，电波变弱了，对方拒绝接收，你的发射网再强也
是徒然的。
两个曾经相爱的人，成长的路不同，那么，唯一的结局就是各自走自己的路。每个
人的路都不同，有幸和遇，无缘则分手。曾经相遇，总胜过从未碰头。
2007 - an ever-changing year > Part 2
To conclude my postings for 2007, I decided to dedicate it to my life in Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City.
As i joined my new company in Oct 2007, i was posted to VN and explore the market there for WWTP and WTP. It was a totally new experience and lifestyle for me. Before, i have been hearing from people about their lives and feelings when they were outstationed for weeks, and even months. I was envious as it is a new insight and feeling, yet i was also apprehensive as I wondered if I could truly accept and blend into a different env and culture. Moreover, to me, VN is not a very developed country and my impression of it was vague and blurry.
As i packed my luggage for the 1st trip to VN, I felt worried, anxious, sad and yet there was a tinge of happiness as I can try to live independently in a foreign country. I remembered telling Daddy that I was sad and did not want to go to VN for a straight 2 wks. He told me "If it is time for you to fly, then you must fly!" So off I went, with my luggage and a nervous heart...
I recalled that my first wk in VN was the hardest to bear. I could not get used to the (polluted) air, (noisy) honkings, (many many) motorcycles, (dusty) roads, (lack of) trees, (limited) sunlight in my room, (not pink) bedroom...etc etc. One good thing: I love the food there, as they have plenty of veggies, less fried and oily food. I felt healthier and of coz, slimming was not a problem at all :P
However, I was lucky and blessed to have friendly and easy-to-get-along colleagues who took good care of me. In particular, I got to know her:
Truc!! (AKA my Nanny) - a wonderful and lovely fren who simply clicks with me, on food, books, interest etc... heehee :P
As i joined my new company in Oct 2007, i was posted to VN and explore the market there for WWTP and WTP. It was a totally new experience and lifestyle for me. Before, i have been hearing from people about their lives and feelings when they were outstationed for weeks, and even months. I was envious as it is a new insight and feeling, yet i was also apprehensive as I wondered if I could truly accept and blend into a different env and culture. Moreover, to me, VN is not a very developed country and my impression of it was vague and blurry.
As i packed my luggage for the 1st trip to VN, I felt worried, anxious, sad and yet there was a tinge of happiness as I can try to live independently in a foreign country. I remembered telling Daddy that I was sad and did not want to go to VN for a straight 2 wks. He told me "If it is time for you to fly, then you must fly!" So off I went, with my luggage and a nervous heart...
I recalled that my first wk in VN was the hardest to bear. I could not get used to the (polluted) air, (noisy) honkings, (many many) motorcycles, (dusty) roads, (lack of) trees, (limited) sunlight in my room, (not pink) bedroom...etc etc. One good thing: I love the food there, as they have plenty of veggies, less fried and oily food. I felt healthier and of coz, slimming was not a problem at all :P
However, I was lucky and blessed to have friendly and easy-to-get-along colleagues who took good care of me. In particular, I got to know her:
Truc!! (AKA my Nanny) - a wonderful and lovely fren who simply clicks with me, on food, books, interest etc... heehee :P 
At a cafe with Truc (who took this pic for me). I enjoyed most Sats with her, as we would go for breakie, girls' talk, shopping and plenty of walking!
Some pictures I took (@ city centre):
As i stayed in HCMC longer, I began to appreciate the finer things there, and able to accept and blend into the env. The lifestyle and pace are different as compared to Sg, as people generally do not really rush and walk fast. They take life at a slower pace, and will stop to appreciate, for eg they will go to cafes (or coffeeshops in local lingo) for a cuppa and chat with friends. After work will be dinner with frens, coffee and then home. During wkends, there will be parties (yes, they party for various occasions) and gatherings. There will be plenty of food and drinks to go around and around.
Until now, I have been in HCMC (to and fro) for a total of 6 weeks and each trip brings new meaning, fresh feeling and different happenings.
**Through this busy period, I also found the person who can share joy and sadness with me, who can understand my feelings and thoughts. After so many years, I think i am able to love again and open my heart to enjoy the romantic feeling. Heehee, a bit childish, but yes, i think I am in love. However this time, the experience is different, as I do not yearn for constant attention and sweet whisperings all day. No more throwing of tempers, incessant demands, continuous whinning and complaining. I think i have grown up, or to put it in another way, the happenings over the past 2 years have forced me to mature faster. Neither he nor me can foresee what will happen in the (near) future, but I am definitely enjoying and savouring every moment ^_^
Friday, December 21, 2007
2007 - an ever-changing year > Part 1
Was reading thru blogs this morning, Elaine Jie Jie, frens, family.... they were blogging about the end of 2007, and to welcome 2008. I was inspired by their entries, esp Jie's, which really warmed my heart and moved me. Yes, the main theme here is love. Love from family and friends, which really makes the festive season an enjoyable and unforgettable one.
Thinking back of the past year, I have really grown a lot. Looking back at the pictures taken from CNY, Melbourne trip, Philippine biz trip, all the relaxing island trips with Mom until now, VN trip. My life in 2007 can be summarized in a series of pictures....
CNY 2007
Welcoming PIG year at home
At Grandma's place, together with Starry. All 3 of us a PIGGIES. Haha :)
At the flower fair @ Sentosa during CNY. I love this picture, coz of the color contrast :P
Me and my brother
Melbourne Trip with Granny, Dad and cousins
Toasting with my cousins @ Red Emperor, Melbourne
Outside Crown Towers, Melbourne
Philippines Biz Trip -- my 1st biz trip and 1st time away from home alone
The park near my house in the Philippines
Me and my colleagues in the Philippines, Mila and Jeanette
Wkend getaway with Mummy -- Bintan Island
At Bintan Agro Resort. A wkend getaway with Mama.
Mama in front of the swimming pool
Having lunch in a restaurant by the sea
Clouds, mountains and the fog...winding roads up to Genting Highlands
The amusement park @ Genting
My beloved Granny
A short trip to Batam with Mummy
Me and Mummy on the ferry
I love this picture!!
Tea-time by the pool
At the sand playground for kids
After my Batam trip, I started on my new job - Sales and Marketing Engineer. It is a fun and ever-changing job, and I had my first longest outstation post in Vietnam - HCMC. Shall post abt it in a another entry :)
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Journey
Have thought about this for quite some time, and I have decided to record down the happenings recently and there after...this could be an unforgettable and bittersweet episode of my life...
In the beginning, we would ask each other, "Why I like you? How come I like you? How can it be???" Hmmm..after some brainstorming together, we realized that there is really no answer, no start, no beginning point. The chemistry is there, the feeling is there. We can talk, talk about anything, talk about everything. Feelings were shared, sorrow was halved and happiness was doubled. Maybe it all started from a song "I'd never fall in love again"....yet the contrary happened.
As the days passed, we began to understand more and care more. My working hours are never regular, sometimes i dont even have time for rest, much less than for talking. On some days, i would be rushing to so many places and when i can settle down, i need to write reports and emails. Similarly, his job is also very busy and hectic, sometimes late into the night. But we share a common understanding, sometimes an sms or a short phone call is enough. Other times, we would just sit together quietly and enjoy some songs. Maybe I have really grown up, I know that love and care do not equate to constant companionship. Physcially apart, but mentally together :)
When we are far apart, and do not see each other everyday, it is difficult. But we still keep in contact thru sms, calls and skype. There is still this chemistry and feeling that i cannot avoid, cannot forget. I thought i would forget when the distance is big, when we are apart, and when we do not see each other. Aha! Quite the opposite.
How long will this feeling last? I am really keen to know... :)
In the beginning, we would ask each other, "Why I like you? How come I like you? How can it be???" Hmmm..after some brainstorming together, we realized that there is really no answer, no start, no beginning point. The chemistry is there, the feeling is there. We can talk, talk about anything, talk about everything. Feelings were shared, sorrow was halved and happiness was doubled. Maybe it all started from a song "I'd never fall in love again"....yet the contrary happened.
As the days passed, we began to understand more and care more. My working hours are never regular, sometimes i dont even have time for rest, much less than for talking. On some days, i would be rushing to so many places and when i can settle down, i need to write reports and emails. Similarly, his job is also very busy and hectic, sometimes late into the night. But we share a common understanding, sometimes an sms or a short phone call is enough. Other times, we would just sit together quietly and enjoy some songs. Maybe I have really grown up, I know that love and care do not equate to constant companionship. Physcially apart, but mentally together :)
When we are far apart, and do not see each other everyday, it is difficult. But we still keep in contact thru sms, calls and skype. There is still this chemistry and feeling that i cannot avoid, cannot forget. I thought i would forget when the distance is big, when we are apart, and when we do not see each other. Aha! Quite the opposite.
How long will this feeling last? I am really keen to know... :)
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Emotions
Recently, a lot of things are running thru' my mind. I am feeling a lot, feeling very deep and feeling very true. This feeling had left me for several years, and it all came back to me some time ago again. Just that this time, i feel more stable, more secured and more mature.
Some thoughts...
To love someone means...
to give that person space to breathe and do what he wants. Each of us has our own individual life, work and friends. Try not to bind him down, and control his time or life.
To love someone means...
to understand and care for him. Not just thru saying, but also thru action and support.
To love someone means...
not to be too demanding. Time spent together must be treasured, but time spent apart must be respected too.
To love someone means...
to let him go. If he comes back to me, it means we have the destiny and shall be together.
世上最伟大的爱就是放手。只有真正体会过的人才会了解，只有真正痛过的人才会明白。
Some thoughts...
To love someone means...
to give that person space to breathe and do what he wants. Each of us has our own individual life, work and friends. Try not to bind him down, and control his time or life.
To love someone means...
to understand and care for him. Not just thru saying, but also thru action and support.
To love someone means...
not to be too demanding. Time spent together must be treasured, but time spent apart must be respected too.
To love someone means...
to let him go. If he comes back to me, it means we have the destiny and shall be together.
世上最伟大的爱就是放手。只有真正体会过的人才会了解，只有真正痛过的人才会明白。
Heaven Knows -- by Rick Price
I love this song, especially recently:
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?
Heaven knows... heaven knows.
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?
Heaven knows... heaven knows.
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